A reluctant blogger begins to blog

Hi. Isabel here. I’m writing on ‘gillian holding’ ‘s account but this shouldn’t cause too much confusion, given that I’ve just introduced myself as Isabel, not gillian. I’m a kempner, one of the gang (genetically, that is. After 17 years I still think the other gang members are reluctant to accept me properly.) I may as well state now that I have a bad case of middle-child syndrome, made all he worse by the fact I’m not even a genuine middle child, but still in competition with another candidate for the title (Jess). I’m constantly thinking of ways to be contrary so as to attract attention, as everyone with my condition does. This blog in fact turned out to be quite a golden opportunity… Arriving back from Cyprus yesterday, having heard in a text that we would be writing a communal blog and everyone else loved the idea, I had had days to think up annoying protestations to present to the family on my return. Here was a chance to take a position in an argument and be sure that no-one would be on my side with me. It was really a double whammy: I could feel misunderstood and alone which is a feeling all teens yearn for and I also had the stage to myself when the blog was being discussed. That is to say, I could speak without interruption. Everyone wanted to know why Isabel didnt like the idea of a blog-diary. I was only too happy to present my issues with it, but as you can see I lost the argument. I’m blogging right now, an hour into the journey, and i’ll blog religiously throughout the month, and I’ll do it with a smile, as requested.

These are the things I didn’t like about the blogging idea, accompanied by the responses I received from the others:
1. Me: it seems self-obsessed to think anyone would care about our journey through America.
Response: only my grandparents will probably read this, and they don’t mind if I’m self-obsessed.

2. Me: I didn’t like the idea of having to create a writing-style for myself so that my section of the blog would have a distinctive air
Response (from Jess): aha! I knew it was this all along… You’re scared of the competition.
Not wanting to ‘lose face’ and accept this was the case, I had to deny it and so this became a moot point.

3. Me: a blog is not a private journal. I wouldn’t be able to share everything on my mind
Response: this was something along the lines of some advice to grow a pair and pretend for the sake of the blog that I had no finer feelings that needed recording.

4. Me: I’ve lost my sim card so can’t use email so technically couldnt even blog if I wanted to.
This prompted Richard kempner to remember that I was an idiot for losing my sim card and I wasnt allowed to present any more of my blog-issues because I was an idiot for losing my sim card.

So point number 4 brought my brief, enjoyable stint in the spotlight at the kempner dinner table to an end,all of my protestations having been ineffective. And where there’s a will, there’s a way, and everyone else willed that I join the bloggers, so a way was found for this to happen, and I’m blogging from this account for now.

The truth is, that I feel quite lost not writing in a physical book. Now that I’ve written my feelings on the blog in general, I don’t really know where to go from here. Had this been a book, i might now comment on the fresh smell of the pages or the crackle of the stiff new spine as I open it. There’s none of that with a blog. I’m also constantly fearful of pressing the delete button and watching all of my uninspiring words be wiped to nothing. On top of this, auto-correct keeps not only correcting my spelling but also replacing many of my verb choices with other options that it seems to think are more suitable. I can’t help but feel insulted as well as annoyed by it, though I know it means only to help me.

That’s enough for now. I have a month more to show you what I have to offer as a blogger, I don’t want to show all my cards now. Until tomorrow, grandparents.

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