Advice for Travellers on Viewing LA at Night

1. Get proper directions to Mulholland Drive, not half-baked instructions from a helpful Italian waiter.

2. Or get a decent map/street plan.

3. Travel in any vehicle substantially smaller than a Suburban Chevrolet.

4. Do not miss turning for Mulholland Drive and think you can then easily escape the slip road to the Highway.

5. Do not take small roads off to the right leading to narrow picturesque stone-walled roads worthy of an Italian village in deepest Tuscany, capable of trapping and devouring Suburban Chevys with ease.

6. Do not laugh hysterically whilst trying to exit the Hollywood Hills.

7. Plan this sort of expedition for broad daylight.

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